Comedian Johnny doesn’t even like cakes, but years of doing stand-up have given him a competitive streak. Could that give him the edge in the tent?
So, Johnny: can you bake?
I can’t bake for toffee. I’ve never baked. I don’t have a sweet tooth so it’s not something I’ve ever done. The only thing is, I’m not a natural cook either. I do stick to recipes so the one good thing about this is I am quite sort of anal about following the recipes.
Who do you want to impress more, Paul or Prue?
Prue, I’m more attracted to. I’ve been quite open and honest about that. I like strong women and I could just happily take criticism off her every day. I could wake up and have her tell me I’ve ruined her life and that she’d made a huge mistake and I’d be absolutely chuffed. Whereas Paul, it’s definitely Paul. I want the handshake. I’ve come on it for that. I want the Hollywood Handshake.
Would you consider yourself a competitive person? Do you want to be star baker?
See that’s the good thing. Within stand-up and other things you kind of compete with yourself. Put me in a group environment, I do get very competitive, I do want star baker. I won’t lie. I have put some thought into it. I’ve spent a day practicing. I’d love to turn up and pretend to be the one going, “I’m just here for the craic.” I’m justifying it by saying “If I can do it, anyone can do it and if you’re going to set up a bake day give it a go.” But yeah, I wanna win.
If you were a baked good, what would you be?
Funnily enough, I was talking about me and Paul getting tattoos. I said I think we should get croissants with muscly arms because he’s made baking sexy. I think I would be, like a chocolate cake but with a hot fondue centre. Hastily iced but with a soft centre.