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Keith the first to go

Keith was the first person voted off The Great British Bake Off after failing to impress the judges with a trio of disappointing cakes.

The 31-year-old house husband’s show started badly when his Earl Grey Cupcakes provoked the irritation of judge Mary Berry.

“It’s very doughy, it’s sticking to the roof of my mouth,” she complained.

Keith admitted he was feeling the pressure and compared himself to a beleaguered football manager.

“I feel like Arsene Wenger, I’m taking one game at a time,” he said grimly, like a man who had just seen his best player quit and join Barcelona.

And things didn’t improve as he came bottom of Mary’s technical Battenberg challenge.

Keith tried to turn things around with his final effort in the Showstopper Bake, creating a train themed dessert. But it was sadly halted in its tracks by the judges.

“I would like to see these being constructed by you,” said judge Paul, gesturing towards the plastic toy trains on the cake.

“Underbaked,” scoffed Mary disdainfully.

And with that, Keith’s fate was sealed.

“I didn’t want to be the first one who goes, but someone has to be,” lamented loser Keith, who prefers to make savoury snacks.

“I’m looking forward to baking the things I normally do, like breads or pies. No more cakes.”